I brought my five year old son to the supermarket on one thursday afternoon. They have small trolleys for children. I have not brought him there before.

So he took one of the trolleys and was on his way to get his food. I was amazed at his ability to re-pack the things in the trolley when it was getting too full. He anticipated that there could be more things that I want to buy and tried to make space for them. When he saw something he liked, he asked me for permission if he could buy it. I thought he was a very good boy because I usually bring both my kids along, aged 3 and 5. They usually end up playing or fighting instead.

By bringing this older boy only, I managed to see his strength instead of telling him "Hey, don't play here". We walked around and checked out the various things in the supermarket. He managed to get some things but not all of them.

It was time to pay and we were queueing up at the cashier. I was unloading the things in the trolley and my son insisted that he can do it. I said all right and let him do it himself. I watched him as he moved the heavy packets of milk, pizza, bread and more things onto the cashier's table.

Wow! He can do it all by himself without my help at all. I used to think that it would be too heavy for him so he needs help. It looks like he has proved me totally wrong. When a child wants to do something(e.g. housework), let him do it even if it is not perfect.

DO NOT brush him aside unless it is not a safe thing for him to do. By brushing him aside, we will kill his enthusiaism. When we want him to do it few years later, we parents will probably have to beg or scold him to do it. Even if the task is too difficult for him, let him handle the simple things like paying money.

Children like to get involved and this is the easiest way to teach them when they are interested to do something. I remember that I loved to learn cooking when i was in my late teens. However, my mother never let me cook and told me to stand and watch first. After a few days and weeks, I was still not given a chance to cook. Now that I am in my 30s, I have lost interest in cooking totally. That is why I think it is important to let the child do when they want to do it.

It is easier for them to want to do it than for us to ask them to do it. Many parents have problem asking their teenagers to clear their rooms. Could it be because when they were young and wanted to help out, they were denied the chance? Finally after paying for the groceries, I decided he was responsible enough to push the trolley down the ramp and help me put the things in the car. Of course I was around to make sure that nothing goes wrong and he can handle the weight of the trolley. He did it all right! As parents we think that children cannot do this and that.

We should just let them try and let them tell us if they can do it or not. It is easier said than done because sometimes it will cause us inconvenience. Just keep on trying and never give up!.

Cheng Cheng is a parenting expert with two boys age 5 and 6. She has learnt a lot from books and other mothers. She hopes to share her experiences and knowledge which will definitely be useful to you. For more articles, please go to http://www.raisingconfidentkids.com